Policies

During 2009 bullying issues will be discussed with Year 7 and 8 students and a “bully box” will be operating.  Robert Pereira, a well respected anti-bullying expert will visit our school in 2009 to hold workshops for Year 7 and 8 students.

We have recently introduced a “Cooling Conflicts” program to the school which we are extending over the next few years.

There will be a variety of anti-bullying programs and drama productions throughout 2009.

Bullying surveys are carried out twice a year with all students in Years 7 and 8 students and followed up as necessary.

What is Bullying?

Most people would describe bullying as either:

• emotional cruelty
• verbal harassment
• physical harassment.

However, bullying is very difficult to define as actions will be perceived differently by the person at whom they are aimed, depending on the student’s own personality, age and situation.  We find, particularly with younger students, that disputes reported as bullying are often about testing power relationships within friendships.  Hence we try to help students learn how to behave assertively and learn how to resolve disputes.

When does it happen?

Bullying can happen at any stage in our lives, in any relationship.  At Bellingen High we promise to do our best to make sure students feel safe and valued at school. 

Possible signs of bullying:

• be frightened of walking to or from school
• not want to go on the school bus
• be unwilling to go to school
• feel ill in the mornings
• doing poorly in their school work
• become withdrawn, lack confidence
• become distressed and anxious, stop eating
• have nightmares, cry themselves to sleep
• have their possessions “go missing”
• refuse to say what’s wrong
• begin to bully other children or siblings
• become aggressive and unreasonable
• give improbable excuses to explain any of the above.

How you can help your child

If you are worried that your child is being bullied, ask him or her directly. Encourage your child by saying that you are concerned and that you want to help and support him/her whatever the problem.

Tell them its okay to admit to being bullied.  Many famous people have been bullied at school - Tom Cruise, Roald Dahl, Walt Disney, Mel Gibson, Clive James, Julia Roberts, and Steven Spielberg.  Tell them they are not alone.  It doesn’t mean your life is ruined.

Take whatever your child says seriously and find out exactly what has been going on.

Don't promise to keep the bullying a secret but reassure your child that you will help them sort out the problem.  Remember this may take some time; there are rarely instant solutions.  Report bullies either through the “bully box” or by contacting the school’s anti-bullying school co-ordinator Mrs. Gorman, or by referring a formal complaint to the Deputy Principal.

Supporting victims of bullying.

Bullying has been compared to a form of brainwashing, with the victims ending up believing that somehow they deserve to be bullied.  Victims feel vulnerable and powerless.  Their self-esteem may have been considerably damaged, especially if the bullying has been ongoing for some time, and you need to build up their confidence with plenty of praise and affection.

• Keep telling your child that you support them and are 100% on their side.
• Reassure them that the bullying is not their fault.
• Explain that reaction to bullies by crying or becoming upset only encourages them.  Victims should try not to react to the bullies' taunts.  If bullies can’t goad the victim into a response, they’ll get bored.
• Practise assertiveness techniques with your child.  Practise saying “No” very firmly and walking away from the bully. Practise “walking tall”, keeping eyes up, and looking normal with confident body language.
• Help your child think up simple responses to the bully’s most frequent taunts.  Responses don't have to be brilliantly witty or funny but victims say that it helps to have a reply prepared.
• Try and minimise opportunities for bullying, eg don't take valuable possessions to school.
• Encourage your child not to give out their mobile phone number as they may receive inappropriate messages
• Tell your child to stay with a group even if they are not your friends - there’s safety in numbers.  Only the worst bullies will pick on someone in a group.
• Make time to sit down and talk to your child - encourage them to tell you how they feel; discuss their ideas and feelings.
• Praise them whenever they accomplish something or whenever they behave well.
• Give them responsibilities - this helps to make them feel valued and important.
• Sometimes victims become withdrawn - help them develop social skills; invite other students around and arrange outings.  Encourage them to join clubs where they can make new friends.
• Encourage them to do something they are particularly good at - this will help their self confidence.

And finally!!

Michael Thompson, a 34 year researcher in social cruelty in children, claims that “the most effective school-wide, bully prevention program focuses on the BYSTANDERS”.  It is important to encourage these bystanders to support the victim rather than the bully.  Instead of feeling pressured into joining in and laughing with the bully, bystanders should say how they really feel eg “leave him alone”.  If everyone was strong enough to do this, it would put an end to most of our bullying problems.